Dear 3 year old daughter

We, as your parents, are in charge of correcting and guiding you.   So, when we put you in time out for throwing a sippy cup into your baby sister's face, we are trying to help you.  Why do you get so offended and remove your clothes in anger?  Just because we tried to correct your behavior, doesn't mean that you need to remove your pants and underwear.  Please try to keep your clothes on.

Sincerely,
Mommy

Dear 3 year old daughter

It was fun to go to Idaho to be with the cousins for Thanksgiving, but mom and dad didn't get much sleep.  We were sleeping quite well one night, when the light suddenly flipped on and woke us and the baby up.   After the lights came on, we saw you run from the light switch and crawl back into bed and go right to sleep.  But we didn't sleep.  The baby was now awake and cried each time we put her back into her crib.  We took her into the bed with us, but she just crawled all over us.  Daddy took the baby out and snuggled her on the couch.  We're happy you were able to go back to sleep so easily ( if not, you might have gotten beat) but mom and dad were not too pleased with the situation.  Next time, please keep the lights off.

Love, Mommy

Dear 2 year old daughter

Mom and dad were not trying to be mean when we asked you to stop poking your sister with a fork at dinner time.  We were still not being mean when we took the fork away since you wouldn't stop with the poking.  There's no need to get up from the  dinner table, grab your brother's book from the family room, bring the book to the table, slide the Ranch dressing to the book, remove the lid from the dressing, open the book, and pick up the bottle of Ranch, raise it above the book and begin tipping it, before mom grabbed it away........really?  why do you resort to such destructive measures?

Love,
Mommy

Dear Comcast High Speed Internet, Cable TV, and Phone Services

We used your company for over a year and thought it was great.  We had cable and internet through you.  This last spring, when we needed to cut back on our bills, I called and asked what options were available to me.  We decided to scale down to just high speed internet.  And I wanted to buy my own modem, because I realized I was paying $7/month to rent yours.  The first time I called, I was told that the only option was to rent a modem, I was not allowed to buy my own modem (and that no stores carry a modem that works with Comcast service, so I would not be able to buy one on my own).  I thought that was ridiculous, so I called again a few days later and spoke with someone else.  This time, I was told I could buy your modem for $100.  Sounds great, that's what I agreed to. I was told to drive to the Comcast store nearest me to pay for the modem.  I loaded 4 of my children (ages newborn to 5) into my car and drove to the Comcast, unbuckled my children and took them into the building with me.   But I got told that buying a Comcast modem is not an option! What a joke!  After racing and tackling my children and hauling a car seat,, I got my kids back into the car and began the 30 minute drive back home.  That's when I decided we would no longer be Comcast customers.  I found another provider that let me purchase my own modem.....and guess what?!?!  We now have cable again too!  But we didn't even bother to look at what Comcast has to offer, because who wants to get told one thing over the phone, drive somewhere with small children, and then still not have the correct information..?

Dear Kohls Clothing Store (expect great things)

On a recent trip to your store, I was very disturbed to discover that the temperature dropped significantly when I passed through the Juniors section.  (please see picture below)  Even though the rest of the store seemed to be of a moderate temperature, this disturbing discovery left me wanting to cut my shopping trip short...

I mean, seriously, why are mannequins even made with such detail..?  Not even necessary!